23.12.2014

Dating creatives...when A creative dates A creative...

Even I'm proud gemini (born in May) somehow ..winter (not spring) is my time!
It's magical, sensual and special time for me every year. Something extraordinary happens.
And now, after years of this kind of season ritual, I am not even suprised.
I'm , kind of, waiting for " THAT".
Analysing my adult life: most of my serious relationship or "something BIG "/significant ..happens ALWAYS in winter holiday season....and so let it be, I am officially excited.

This blog actually will be about something different, not about cold winter and strange vibe, when calendar hits December...
It's about dating.Aha-ha.I change my mind constantly.
Can't yet decide: Is it right, for actors, filmmakers to date people from their bubble?
Is it heathy? What are the benefits - standard pros and cons?
Is it good for your professional life ( if you are an artist) to share your personal life with " your half" ...someone, who happens to be an artist from your world too?

Well, well...
I took that " risk" quite a few times.

It didn't end up well for Me, as it didn't for Sienna M. and Jude L. either...
I don't want to make rule out of it...but Actor and Actress...most of the time, We hear about cases, that DIDN'T work, rather then the " happy ones"...

Ok:
Lets get serious here:
Good stuff - dating someone from your bubble =means they REALLY understand, what does it mean, to be an actor ( for example ) And you don't have explain anything, after 16 hour day on set...
Having the same desire : Often can be very motivating , you can inspire each other to work harder.Sharing the same passion can be really bonding, get you ever closer...
Ok, enough !
Now bad stuff: Well, you can't easily switched off, if you not careful, as you both in the same bubble-all the time...That doesn't sound very positive.
What else could be negative? 2 actors- too much drama?
NO castings - NO money ? Or sick level of jealousy, if one does better than other...?Hm...Interesting Miss Joanna.

"People who have been rejected in unceremonious ways often tell me they don’t want to open their hearts again.

I get it. But as actors, we must. To choose to move through life zombify-ing ourselves, becoming risk-averse, and anesthetizing and numbing ourselves so we don’t have to feel again, doesn’t serve us—as artists or people.

The fact that we numb something doesn’t mean that we still don’t feel it. It’s there. That’s why we’re trying to numb it! And as a storyteller you can only tell story through the feelings you share. So if you want to heal, you have to feel.

The good thing about dating a narcissist (besides being brave enough to leave) is that, chances are, you’re going to move through a shit-storm of feeling. Anger, resentment, sadness, pain, rejection, rage, vulnerability. If you get the lesson quickly, and move on, you can access and use all of that stuff in your work. Not through sense memory or substitution. Simply you survived challenges in life that have transformed you and you’ll always carry within you the emotional imprint that allexperiences have left you with.

So it’s a win-win because you have everything you will ever need inside you. And sometimes, the lesson can’t come without first being burned by it all. So all experiences are helpful in the long run, no matter how good or bad they seem at the time.

The key is to not repeat the lesson over and over. Like anything in our lives or career or art, it’s important to remember our worth—what we truly deserve; that letting go of something that doesn’t serve us is essential if we want to make room for something else to move into its place that does.

So thank those tricky people you’ve dated for the lessons they’ve afforded. They’ve made you a much better feeling actor than you could ever have imagined. But for gosh-sakes! Remember, there’s no need to go through it all again.

I was talking to an actor the other day who’s been having challenges with her representation for a while. I encouraged her to talk to them about the problem. You can’t fix anything if you pretend it’s not broken. Communication is the key. Everyone’s doing the best they can in this business at any given time, so it’s not about blame, but it is about getting more honest about what is—and isn’t—working in our lives."

Reading that made me realise that at the end , it's ALL about the PERSON you are dating, Not about what they do...at the end of the day.But -Somehow, I can't help, but wonder..How relavant is Our Job-for us as human beings though? How much our occupation shape us AS a Person?Back to square One.

Coming back to text above...Yes, I would say, always TALK.No matter what shit is happening ( when you are dating creative or non- creative one) go with the " JUST JOANNA way" be blunt, straight forward and honest.

T-A-L-K

Happy Dating!

Miss ( not Mrs ) Joanna

Xxxx