Uuuu, this is a touchy subject.
Let's talk about jealousy shall we? Being selfless and selfish. As an actor, we are concentrate so much on " ME".-my showreel, and my headshots and MY last casting...Me,me,me... I think in some way, this chapter of my life is inevitably closed. I think being selfish and jealous, as an actor, is actually strongly connected.I'll try to explain to you why I think that...
Let's go back in time. I was 17 or 18 years old, and for a few reasons I will not bother you with, for some time, before my A-levels, I was seeing a shrink on regular basis. I remember this like it was yesterday. I was explaining my difficult relationships with other classmates and people of my age, or even teachers for that matter, and suddenly my doctor started this conversation: -"Joanna, Have you ever heard of jealousy?
I'd never thought that other people might be simply jealous? This is the reason that they behave in certain ways towards you.
Can you understand that?" -" NO! I can't understand that at all. If I see something I really like, like someone winning something, making a dream come true or achieving a goal, I want to be like them. I instantly admire them, and think: Wow, I wish I could do a commercial, or I wish I could run a marathon, that's amazing! Then, get inspired and do what I can, to follow that inspiration." - Well, that's quite an unusual approach and you need to understand not that not everyone thinks this way... and there is nothing you can do about it.
Haha, well said, Doc. Certainly not everyone thinks like me! That's for sure...
How come actors get jealous? Because it's damn hard, when you are not working and all your friends around you are getting amazing jobs, roles, films and have thisperfect agent... Or even seeing actors on People's Magazines, when he is advertising his new film, or TV series... Exactly the same one, you have auditioned for...That's gonna hurt. For sure. Believe me, I have been there. On the other hand, I am / have been on the other side too.
I wish all my actors friends were as busy as I am. I help them where I can, but this industry can be a bitch and you need to grow tough skin to survive it. It wasn't ever easy for me either, talking about my film set in Jordan, when I know, that close actors friends...The love ones suffer and struggle.. Ok, so how I tightly connect being jealous to being selfish? Well, if you strongly believe that this role or film should BE YOURS, It's all about you, in a way...Reasonable explanations, that you are just not right for it this time, Won't help...Am I right? Because that is the role that should be "MINE". Also, it is very hard to not be jealous, if your best friends are doing amazingly and You just don't know how you are gonna pay the rent that month..How you can be truly happy for them? Well, I tell you how I deal with it and how I see it. It took some time to get to this conclusion, but Yes, I am there: I tell myself, ( if someone next to me is super successful- a good friend for example) that All these amazing things happen to other people around me,they are achieving...then tomorrow ALL that can happen to me too. Because If they can do it, I can do it as well.
I then get living proof in front of me, that IT IS possible. Is that not an easier, more helpful and less destructive attitude than to just be frustrated and angry, as someone standing next to us got it right? I think it's better to JUST smile to ALL those lucky winners at times. And have in mind you could be next!
Can we really be completely selfless?
Even -if you are doing something purely from your heart for another human being...
How does that make you feel about yourself? Good, right? So is that purely selfless?
Not sure I agree.
However, I like to watch myself, and make sure that it's not always about ME.
Just sounds like the right way to go..
Just Joanna
Xxx
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