Maybe it's part of our job.
To have very subjective judgement about our casting, about who we are,And what we did/do.Crossing the casting door, we never know what to expect, what is going to happen, and as scary and as exciting it is, we - of course- always willing to take the risk.
This is what I found lately: "The Harvard psychologist, DR. ELLEN LANGER, says that when we’re not mindful, we are “Frequently in error, never in doubt.”
We go to an audition and do a great job in the moment. But later, we process it in error and instead see only the mistakes we made. The fumbled lines or the nervousness or the awkward moments we experienced. We then retell the same story differently. Meaning, we no longer believe we did a great job – we instead have no doubt about how bad we were. And that becomes the defining story of ourselves we tell.
If mindlessness makes us be frequently in error, never in doubt, then we become skewed toward seeing things incorrectly, and we don’t doubt seeing things incorrectly.
What that does is create a closed system. We begin to see the world – the business, people, relationships, our possibilities as actors – in a pre-set, determined, and often, limited way."
I put it on Facebook and got many responses..I can't help, but wonder how much of a judgement factor effect our life and our career?!So important -what mind set Actors have...It's crucial.
Yes, It's fucking hard, if you judged left and right. And rejected, has been smashed to the bottom and try to get up again and fight back.And again and again...and again.
As actor, working for 15 years, I has been constantly JUDGED all my life.
I has been judging myself and my work lots in the past and had dwell on every single audition.
I wasn't kind to myself.
I think, to tell you the truth, I have been harsh to myself.
And now?
Do I care?I honestly with big smile on my face can say! NOT ANYMORE.
The moment I stop analyzing and judging my casting and performance and I stopped thinking about how Others judge me as Actress and what score they put on my work, the MOMENT I really let go...things really has speeded up for me and my acting career really took off...Worth trying?
I have been working on a play this September.Playing Lead Role- Petra in beautiful, very moving story.
Rehearsal process has been long, draining and emotional, so tiring...but also, very very rewarding in so many ways, I cannot even list here.
I realised how much my colleague actors judge them self, apologise for their " acting" mistakes or for being fake in particular moment or scene.I didn't comment on that, I just smiled and thought:
Why are you so unkind to yourself,so unsure and so apologetic to all of us?
For me the rehearsal time, is where everything is happening from scratch, there is no right and wrong, If a scene is " not there yet" ,it's because the time we have put in and work we did, wasn't JUST ENOUGH " to get there ( wherever THAT is?!) and it is perfect for THAT moment being.
My play Is nominated for very prestigious Kenneth Branagh Award,if you have time,
come to see the show, Me on stage :-) or even say : "Hello" ...link below.
Love to you all,
Joanna
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